The other day we were eating dinner or lunch, I can't remember which now, and Alyssa was handing me her cup telling me, "I 'ant more." The cup was clearly full from the looks and I had just refilled it. I told her she could have more when she was done. She told me she wanted more ketchup. No, you already have some on your plate. She then repeated these demands. I was losing this battle because she wasn't listening. I finally told her,
"You cannot have more when you already have enough."
I stopped in my tracks. This is the answer to life! We cannot keep searching for more stuff when we already have enough, we cannot have more love when we already have enough. Life is enough. How can you have more than you have at this moment when what you have is enough in this moment? The answer is, you cannot have more when you already have enough.
And then I cried a little, but I cry a little at everything these days. God never gives us more than we can handle and I believe that's true in all things, happiness, grief, anger, joy, love, etc. So why is it we constantly looking into the future to see a better existence when the answers we're looking for are in front of us. Our enough is enough.
I can't pretend that I don't so these things, I'm a "if this, than that..." Type of person. But when I said that to Alyssa my eyes opened and my heart felt lifted. These girls are enough, this bean inside me is enough, Elliott is enough, my life is enough, I do not need more.
And who could truly ask for more? These guys are pretty amazing (Elliott included). I'm so incredibly lucky and in love with my life and with Elliott. We've built this "enough" together and it's taken me this long to grasp how meaningful it actually is. I love these girls who are so well behaved and listen for the most part, but they are only 4 and 2 (almost). I could not ask for more.